I could kill myself for that. I thought I’d changed my life”, she huffed, and my imaginary dog ears started to flap. “Calm down”, her friend said slowly.“You *so* don’t understand”, she enunciated dramatically. “When Lauren started again, didn’t you tell her it was okay. . and at least she’s quit successfully before?’ “Yeah, but that’s Lauren. I’m different” she declared. She fiddled in her Prada saffiano, cursing herself as she lit up. Her friend didn’t say a thing. Moments of silence later, she continued “I have more self-control than Lauren, I shouldn’t be smoking again.”
That little eavesdrop summed up for me how we run by these precepts, without knowing:–” The whole world can fall down, because life happens. . . but I can’t. The whole world can have a breakthrough and fall back, because that happens. . but I can’t. When shit happens to others, I can feel for them. . but I’m relentless with myself. Because I’m different. I’m special.”
Because we believe that the rules don’t apply to us. And so we are harsh with ourselves. Expecting perfection executed robot-style. Become furious when we’ve slipped back. Get lost in our minds. Punish ourselves. Stop ourselves from trying the next time. . because we’ve slipped before. These limiting beliefs hinder progress and change.
Yes, I am talking to all you perfectionists out there. All you who expect progress to be linear. All you who drive yourself so hard. Whatever the reason behind these, here’s the thing. You are not that (kind of) special. You can hack some stuff, bend some rules, push some boundaries. But ultimately. . Life happens. You will fall. You’ll have breakthroughs, falls back, growth and all sorts. It’s the same rule for everyone.
It’s not easy, but getting over such limiting beliefs means that. .