What's your matrix? My name is
My clients call me DrP. I receive mails addressed to “Dear Neo”. The Chinese press calls me 英国涅歐— England’s Neo. I imagine The Matrix Girl and laugh.
Because that’s the secret to sorting the glitches in your life and/or uplevelling to the next stage of personal and professional growth. Sustainably, without burning out. When you master your mind, energy and biography, you perform phenomenally, lead wisely and sleep like a cat.
You’ve already got financial, social and other capital. It’s time to master your psychological capital.
BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS MATRIX? IT'S THE INVISIBLE WAYS WE STUNT OUR GROWTH.
• The things we pretend to be. Are you a night owl or introvert, and shoehorn yourself into something else?
• The identities we carry. What roles do you play, that lead to burnout? Are you too giving and empathetic?
• The things we endure and hide. Because they’re not as serious as kids starving.
SOCIETY DEMONISES DIFFERENCE. BUT EVOLUTION AND HISTORY TESTIFY THAT DIVERSITY IS CAPITAL.
I get you if you are:—
- Type A— My friends laugh that I’m Type A+++. Except, it’s not a joke.
- The Perfectionistic Overachiever — Hello, Singaporean-Chinese upbringing! Do you live in flowcharts, checklists and contingency plans?
- Neuroatypical— You’ve spent your whole life trying to be ‘normal’, except you’re wired ADHD/introvert/Asperger’s/etcetera.
- The Entrepreneur— It’s scary blazing your own path, let alone calling yourself one.
- A Global Citizen— Expat, immigrant, traveler. You’re hungry for more.
- The Overgiver— I was raised with Catholic Martyrdom. How about you?
- The Left-Brained Cerebralist— You live in your head and can intellectualise anything. Up until you can’t.
- The Multipassionate Polymath— You see connections everywhere, juggle tons of projects; pigeonholes are for letters and library cards.
Bottomline is, you want to be in-control. I hear, see and feel you. Let’s make your wiring your asset.
SO WHAT IF THINGS AREN'T PICTURE PERFECT IN YOUR LIFE OR HEAD? IT'S WHAT YOU DO WITH IT.
Because here’s what I’ve capitalised as fuel:–
All within two years. And then, there’s
- Never being able to own my entrepreneurial nature, despite starting at 18.
- Abysmal social anxiety— I let people think I was arrogant, not the truth.
- Not knowing I had High-Functioning Anxiety till my mid-20s, despite chronic insomnia at 9.
- Having ADHD.
- 4.5 years of panic attacks— my dirty little secret as a psychologist.
- Feeling like an alien for being Type A and perfectionist.
Today, I’m proud of how far I’ve come— the resources and resilience I’ve found deep within me. It’s called “Transcendence”. But pain isn’t a competition, and what I’m even prouder of how I’ve inspired my clients and readers.
I write about these, and my work’s available in 32 languages. I call it Mastering Your Biography. But why bother owning your story, you ask. Sure, you can rationalise alot away. But if your past or your head haunts you in your deepest darkest moments, then it owns you. That’s the last thing you need when you’re feeling vulnerable.
And if you don’t own your biography, someone else will write it for you. You’re not going to like it.
AS SEEN ON:
That’s Dr P’s School Of Life Accreditation. By training, I’m a clinical psychologist. I read my post-graduate degrees at Cambridge and University College London. My job title is
Executive Coach & Psychologist
For High Achievers Globally. I serve entrepreneurs, executives and visionaries, with my signature blend of Cutting-edge Neuroscience/Psychology and Ancient Wisdom. I specialise in helping people triumph over three things. There’s the paralysed perfectionist lost in their busy mind. There’s the person with panic attacks they can’t shake off or feel they have to grit their teeth through. Then, there’s the one in a historical or current toxic relationship. Whatever it is, they’re tired of adapting around it, or seeing themselves that way. They want liberation. To live bigger. So they perform phenomenally, lead wisely and feel in-control.
Here’s some facts about me:–
- I speak, write and work in English and Mandarin-Chinese. I also speak two Chinese dialects, and some Spanish and Malay/Indonesian.
- I draw from my background in Sociology, Anthropology, Criminology and Philosophy to advise organisations and startups.
- My multi-disciplinary work spans Neuroscience, Nutrition, Genetics, Biology and Chemistry.
- I’m a self-confessed Geek, and enjoy studying these subjects.
- I spent a year specialising in Sexual Health/HIV/LGBTQ at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital, London.
- Business mentors I’ve studied under include Selena Soo and Ramit Sethi.
- I was born and raised in Singapore, one of the most competitive, cutthroat yet resilient cultures.
- I live in Brighton, the happiest city in the UK, where I’m treated to glorious sea views when I peer out of my townhouse window.
- Aeroplanes (specifically, Singapore Airlines) are giant taxis to me; I’ve been travelling since 2. So, I divide my time between London and Singapore, and jet to where I’m invited.
But I don’t just hide behind my qualifications, textbooks and research journals. I’m always growing, and have my Round Table of experts to support me through that. I practise what I preach; I believe it in every cell, fibre and tissue of my being.
Terri says. . .Terri Cole. Relationship Expert, Master Coach & Psychotherapist.
Jonathan says. . .Dr Jonathan Marshall. Leadership Expert, Executive Coach & Psychologist.
Hanita says. . .Dr Hanita Assudani. Clinical Psychologist
Garth says. . .Garth Spiers. Executive Coach & Charisma Expert.
Tay & Val say. . .Tay & Val. Spiritual Consultants and Purpose Leadership Mentors.
What infuriates me is that many of us have sought a way out of those. Except, we’ve been promised some Three Letter Miracle or Wellbeing Holy Grail.
Here's the problem no one talks about.
They give you some hack to ‘change your mindset’ as though Thought Surgery exists. Or you analyse for years till the cows come home. Neither alone creates lasting transformation.
You don’t unpick and banish old patterns, so your mind doesn’t get closure. You repeat the same patterns on loop. Newsflash: You can’t talk old patterns away.
A Three Letter Method doesn’t honour who you are— your life story, experiences and personality. Generic is really code for “Have a personality transplant”.
If you’re lucky, you’ll see some progress, and then the problems haunt like ghosts. Or you’re told “You’ve just got to learn how to manage trauma/anxiety/panic attacks/[insert challenge] for the rest of your life”. But if you don’t hand over your brain for surgery when promised 50% success or told the problem recurs, why risk that with your mind?
Why haemorrhage years, your confidence and your life?
I’m here to tell you this— your life doesn’t have to be like this. Ever again.
It starts with your head
WHEN PEOPLE SAY, "IT'S NOT IN YOUR HEAD", THAT'S BULLSHIT. THE TRUTH IS, IT'S PARTLY IN YOUR HEAD. BE THANKFUL FOR THE MIND-BODY LINK.
Because that means, it’s your head that saves you.
Especially if you’re cerebral, logical and left-brained. And if you live your life with flowcharts, KPIs and contingency plans. Because we’ll start with getting your head on board, so it works with you and for you.
I call our work The Atelier Of The Mind. In Fashion Speak, it’s haute couture for your brain, tailored just for you. You pick up what you need and remove everything you don’t need, to rock who you are. To transcend your matrix.
You master your psychological capital
And we’ll do it La Dolce Vita-style.
That translates to ‘the good life’. In DrP Speak, it’s “Working in a beautiful and tasteful manner that celebrates the complex, wonderful human being you are”.
I like beautiful things and luxury. I love to eat, muse and laugh. I’m proud of the fact that I love my life. Except that for a long time, I was shamed for those, for having standards, and wanting to see deep transformations happen quickly. Not anymore.
If you’re a High Achiever, you want accelerated processes. You don’t have time for two hours of mindfulness everyday, and the things you learn at the two-week retreat do not translate to your daily life. You hate the terms ‘positive thinking’, ‘just let go’ and ‘self-compassion’. Or worse still, ‘digital detox’. And I promise you, no naive annoying jargon echoed everywhere else.
So what do I really do? I make your mind and life beautiful.
Ever seen those beautifully-organised cupboards and drawers? You’ll feel like your mind looks like that. Because you’re in-control of your history, present and future. You’re the boss of your head.
We’ll do it intelligently, by growing the right mindsets and systems to support you effortlessly— the tiny lifestyle redesigns that yield powerful impact.
It’s about being streamlined. Lean. Agile. That’s where real strength, control and mastery lie.
Peek behind the curtain?
My clients love how ten-second tools buy them hours and days of their time and sanity. They also love how customised essential oil blends accelerate the process and perfume them beautifully. Even the men.
We work on various levels— mindsets, habits, energy, stories. Sounds complicated? Why not witness testimony instead? Clients who avoid trains for decades take them within three weeks. Others leave toxic relationships for good and break old patterns. And my paralysed perfectionists become hyper-productive, sleep like cats and tell me. . “I actually like who I am now”.
You get victorious over what’s not working too well in your life right now, in a way that honours who you are, your experience and your wisdom.
Because here’s what I know to be true. When you master yourself, life beams back at you with a billion dimples.
As a young psychologist, clients would tell me, “I’m only here because my doctor/family forced me. I’ve had therapy for three decades. Nothing’s worked”. They’d return and say “For the first time I see that things can change. I did what you suggested. And then I did more”. I don't do that anymore. These days,
I only work with action-takers who want accountability and take responsibility.
Sure, some clients don’t resonate with anxiety/perfectionism, panic attacks or difficult relationships. That’s even better. We’ll craft an accelerated strategy to mastermind your goals and become Version 2.0 of you.
The common thing is, my clients say, “I’ve seen your site/read your work/listened to your podcasts. And I want YOU to work with me”. Some even sit in their cars during lunch break so they can FaceTime with me. They’re committed enough to make things happen. They’ve got skin in the game. They’re know the best investment they can ever make is themselves.
And like you, a part of them has doubts. We’re all human.
All that matters is that we continue to invest faith in ourselves.
Back to The Matrix.
Neo is offered the choice between the blue pill and the red pill. He continues with the illusion with the first. If he takes the red pill, he gains enlightenment and liberation.
Want to take The Red Pill? Reality is more awesome than you believe. And you are so worthy of it.
Reality starts now. Here’s to your incandescent future.